love = war

Good day to you all.
I should really be doing some art work right now but lets put that on hold for a while. I feel like I should in light you all on what happened on my six month anniversary and today's events. 
So i attended my best-friend's prom on my boyfriend and me' six month anniversary. This isn't like the fourth month or something, it's half a year. Which is pretty big, so obviously he was upset. Which is totally understandable. When he dropped me off i really REALLY didn't want to leave. If i could i would've spent the entire day with him, i would've came up with some lie so i didn't have to attend the prom.. But i couldn't. And today, he's upset. Think it started because i didn't text him today.. well i fell asleep for more than three hours. However, when i did start texting him i was told to stop or else he would put his phone on airplane mode. He would avoid my questions, tell me to stop texting him and now 'threatens' me that he will put his phone on airplane mode.. seriously? Running away from ones problems doesn't make them go away. Well in his case, avoiding them.. avoiding my questions will not make them go away, nor will it solve his problems.. if anything they'll simply come back again (like next week :s) and something even worse than before will occur.. But seriously, if he is doubting whether or not he should be with me i have the right to know right? Well he doesn't think so. I know when some thing is wrong with him i need to leave him alone. He will think about it for a while then it'll all blow over but I'm tired of this coming in question... He just tweeted this "I'm just not that important to her" really? If that is the case then why would i be with him? Why would i make him tea every morning when he is sick? Why would i wished i was with him the entire night instead of in a room filled with people i don't even know. If that's the case.. i don't see why he doesn't just leave me. He seems to be doubting our relationship so much right now. it kind of seems like he finds/creates the smallest things, make them into a big deal and in the end loses interest. Thing is, me always having to fight, always having to deal with him losing interest or wondering whether or not to break up with me, is making me tired. Just makes me feel like not fighting anymore. How many times do i have to go through the same thing for him to finally stop going back and forth. Can't his questioning stay in place but have our relationship move forward? Just seems like every week is a stronger battle to fight and i'm not sure how much longer i can keep going..
Wait, what am i saying? I love him, with every bone in my body. Even when he's mad at me, i find myself telling him "i love you" sure he might not say it back because he's upset but i feel like whenever i tell him it makes him feel somewhat better. Maybe it doesn't but if that's the case then i rather not know because i like the idea that it does. Sure things are hard.. but what was i suppose to expect. It's the day following the SF prom. My parents let me spend the night with my best-friend.. but when it comes to him they give me a curfew of 8 o'clock. Or even worse.. don't want me seeing him at all. And do i fight back; no. I know i should.. I really do because now look; it's costing me my relationship. The best thing that's ever happened to me. See, it always occurs to me how lovely he looks everyday.. sure he may be wearing the same thing every other guy is in our school but when you look at him and see him wearing it, it's like he's wearing something completely different; something that has been made specifically for him.. something that makes him look well, lovely. And the way he smiles.. simply makes my heart melt. It's been six months, a day and forty five minutes since he stole my breath away; but it seems as though it was yesterday. And as he was walking on the path of life, he took a left turn and came onto mine.. he walked into my life and completed my soul. To some he may seem crazy, gay, horny or retarded. But if you really got to know him, you'd see exactly what i do. His soul; it's as if he traveled through heaven and searched through the garden of love. He is the most loving person i know. See when it all comes back around, i still can't figure out how she ever let him get away. He's simply amazing, he just kept his head up high and i won't lie.. i'm happy she let him get away because now i'm the one blessed with his love. I can't feel without his touch. I can't dream without his smile. I can't live without his love. I cannot fall without his hand. I can't cry without his arms. His whispering is uplifting. And when he sings.. whether it be Justin Bieber's 'Baby' or Bob Marley's 'One Love' i want him to keep on singing (though i can't stand JB) and hold me closer than he's ever did before. 
Truth is that things are hard right now. But i'm not going to give up. No matter how tired i get from his constant questioning, I don't want to lose something as amazing as him. So i'm willing to fight for as long as i possibly can.. Even if i'm standing on the front line, defending our love on my own. I'm going to give my all. Even if tension rises; there is no giving up. There is conflict.. there is struggle but it doesn't matter because i know we're tough enough that we can over come whatever comes our way. And after the smokes disappears, you can find us still standing. 
When he kisses me.. really truly kisses me, we are connected by our hearts.. we are one. Why would i want to lose that? I'm willing to turn on my parents to keep him in my life. Whatever it takes, whatever the cost.. i will gladly pay. When I've given all i can give, i will give him more. Our love will keep growing, even if there's a storm. We can take that storm and turn it all around and then the sun shall shine through. We're going to have some causalities but i'll make sure we never surrender. I never want to hear him say that he's done. So even when it hurts; i'll keep marching on. 
Love is a war filled with many battles. You lose some, and you win some. It's up to you if you want to keep fighting 'til the end. We too have our battles, but we've come out stronger than ever. THAT's the story of our relationship. We have all been designed but he is as real on the outside.